Macdonalds

Macdonalds


Today I have nothing much to say, i just wanna tell you one of the many places that i will remember throughout my entire life. It all started at one of the Mac Donalds outlets in Yishun, Chong Pang, in the community club.


One day, after my usual saturday band practice, i was summoned for an urgent committee meeting. Since i was already a treasurer at that time, i was one of the committee. So i was summoned by the teacher in charge and she told me to meet at macdonalds, at the community club on Sunday morning, to my dismay, i had no other choice but to attend the meeting. I knew what the meeting was all about, but i did not know what to expect during the meeting. That meeting was one of my turning points of my life.


I arrived there on time at 8 all the way from woodlands. I was one of the first few to arrive and i thought that maybe i could have some breakfast before the meeting were to begin. So i grab some breakfast. The rest of the members came after 15 minutes and so was the teacher. I finished my breakfast before than and the meeting started.

First it went well, we talked about the band and whats the band's standard and try to resolve some issues that werent so important. After that, we began to discuss about the selection of then new committee for the band. By the way one of my senior was there and soon she handed my the piece of paper nicely folded up and pushed it towards me. I knew what was inside that was SHOCKED to see what is really inside! I unfolded the piece of paper and began scanning through the paper. Inside contained a list of names who had been selected to be a member of the committee. I looked to see who was to be the next Band Major and was shocked and shaken to see the person to be........... me. My stomach churned violently as if someone punched me in my stomach. My heart was pumping wildly as if its gonna come out of my chest. My head throbbed violent upon recieving information from my eyes and deciphering what was it what my eyes were seeing. For the next few minutes, i was speechless. Not a word uttered from then on.


The news was so sudden, as if i could have nearly fainted there. No one told me that i was soon to be the next Band Major. I told myself that this must be a mistake and that their decision is wrong. Me? A Band Major? How could I? What have i proved to them that i could be the next best candidate to take over the job? How could a timid little boy be a succesful candidate in taking over an astounding responsibility? I would be a laughing stock in front of the whole band. " They must be joking" was all in my head all the time during the meeting.


I told the news to my parents and i nearly cried. No... I cried in secrecy, in isolation, behind the shadows for many days. I felt like i wanted to kill myself for being sooo stupid by letting them choose me as a successful candidate.
I was in a daze, and if im not wrong i was sick during one of those periods. I tend to get ill if there is a sudden surge of pressure and stress from a source at such a short time span. I did not know what to do, sleeplessness, restlessness, dreaming all day long was what i did when i recieved the shocking news.


Its been months now and still coping with the life of a Band Major. Although the term is only one year, its THE one year that completely transformed my life forever. Its hard to be a band major. You feel tired, fatigued, you have no sense of freedom around you. Everyday, its a constant struggle for me and everyday, time catches with me. Im always against time because my job is very demanding and requires excellent sense of urgency when doing a duty and an excellent sense of time. Im already sec 4 and its only been like months since i left primary school. In another few months, or in relativity, a few days, i would have graduated from this school. Life is soo fast for me. Too fast for me to cope. The passing of time has lead me to the inability to reflect my life, to reflect myself on what i have done today, yesterday, last week, or last month. There is no time for this and everytime i find time to reflect, its no use for it is already obsolete and we have to move on.



Sometimes i wonder if the things that i do in life this past months since i became a band major has been right for me, my friends or for the band. As i said i dont have time to reflect on this things and i always fear people's opinion and im being sensitive to sarcasm and criticism. No one understands or how one feels to be a band major when he or she criticise and make sarcastic remarks about me. When someone calls me "Band Major" when i did something wrong, or something childish or something stupid, i feel like a bat has hit my face. It pains me to hear that.

The most powerful words, FEAR, HOPELESSNESS, TIRESOME, PRESSURE, STRESS, DEMANDING,