School is Reopening...... A long story about myself
In a week, a new year will begin and a new school year will start. New principal, new teachers, new classroom, new layout of the school and many more.More challenges, as an individual, as a class, as a school. Activities and events happening in school will repeat again. Total Defence Day, Teacher's Day, Youth Day, Chinese New Year, Crosscountry, Speech Day, Prefects Investiture and Singapore Youth Festival.
To a student's point of view, the last year that he or she will be studying in the school is often dealt with the most toughest challenge... The 'O' Levels. Its coming and its coming fast. No time to play and little time to relax and contemplate. No turning back now. High hopes and expectations has been set for this year's batch of students, my batch, the least number of Express students in the school. Every student is important. A failure in the cohort can mean a drop in a 1 to 2 percent in academic results achievement as a school. This is a heavy burden the teachers, the school and the students have to bear. I dunno what lies ahead. Whether it is grim or glorious, no one will know. Many things can change and will change. We must adapt to it. The school is transforming. For the past 3 years, we changed principals 3 times. That is a disturbing thought. It means that we need to change ourselves to adapt to the new principal's way to management and expectations. Friendships made, friendships broken. It doesnt matter, for we will go on to our seperate ways in the future. But the one principal that i will always hold on dearly no matter what... friends never say goodbye. Ive made neither my resolutions for year 2003 yet, nor my goals or mission statement. Its overdue. I have no time actually. Ill try to find time for myself and review my mission statements, the most important thing that i must do. It is a reflection of yourself, what youll do for the year, what are you goals and task that you must achieve for the new year no matter how small or how big. Achieving a goal is no simple task. Many things will hinder you. I myself had been through a very tough part of my life. 2 years ago, and from now to the end of my secondary school life. I think that everyone is going through their most difficult and toughest part of their life on their final year of secondary school, but i feel that im the one suffering more than the others. Many people have too much and too high expections of me. I fear that i cant achieve their expectations and the fear is growing everyday. Whenever i find time to contemplate, its difficult for me to find and remember the joyous occasions that i had with my friends and family. Also if my friends has a certain expectation that they want from me, i cant see it. What are their expectations as a friend, a companion, a helper? What will they think of me if i dont meet their expectation? Ive not recieved any remarks or rumours about my behaviour or attitude or anything about me (not that im bad or anything). And i always assume that the way i reacted to things and behave towards people and things is correct, but its a disturbing thought because you dont have a mirror in front of you ,telling you what is right and what is wrong.Im a non violent person, cheerful, always love to hang out with my friends, avoid confrontations, and sort of a 'yes-man', "anything-will-do" kind of person.
i dont resort to violence and revenge. Im the forgiven type of person. But the things i do, the job that im taking, as a band major, is against my nature! Man, im crying while im typing!! I cant believe this! This has never happened to me before!
I have a lot to say but i cant continue....
Wednesday, December 25, 2002
Tuesday, December 17, 2002
One month later... almost...
A summary of whats going on in my life this past month:
Band Exchange and Honor band concert:
On the 30th of October, my Band had a band exchange with 2 other school and an honor band concert, which is basically picking out the best players from the 3 schools, combine them together and play music together in the concert. The concert was a full house and it was a great experience and we did very well overall. I am proud of my band and myself as i had never before explore beyond my learning capabilites in the aspects of music making.
Hari Raya Aidilfitri:
The fasting was over and i get to eat and crave to foods which i had not eaten for the past month and we also celebrate the joyous occasion with my friends and family and get to visit each other's houses and collect green packets.
Holiday bored as usual:
Nothing to do and bored as hell. Im not depressed though and thats a good thing. Some people are so bored at home that they do stupid and odd stuff but fortunately i can keep my sane long enough..
No time to write must hurry!!
Band Exchange and Honor band concert:
On the 30th of October, my Band had a band exchange with 2 other school and an honor band concert, which is basically picking out the best players from the 3 schools, combine them together and play music together in the concert. The concert was a full house and it was a great experience and we did very well overall. I am proud of my band and myself as i had never before explore beyond my learning capabilites in the aspects of music making.
Hari Raya Aidilfitri:
The fasting was over and i get to eat and crave to foods which i had not eaten for the past month and we also celebrate the joyous occasion with my friends and family and get to visit each other's houses and collect green packets.
Holiday bored as usual:
Nothing to do and bored as hell. Im not depressed though and thats a good thing. Some people are so bored at home that they do stupid and odd stuff but fortunately i can keep my sane long enough..
No time to write must hurry!!
Tuesday, November 26, 2002
Crash and Burn
This song is dedicated to my friends, and everybody who is reading this journal entry. To those who are lonely, bored, or doesnt have any loyal friends to be with you when you need them most, do not despair...
Artist: Savage Garden
Album: Affirmation
Song: Crash And Burn
When you feel alone
And the world has turned its back on you
Give me a moment please to tame your wild wild heart
I know that you feel like the walls are closing in on you
It's hard to find relief and people can be so cold
When darkness is upon your door and you feel like you can't take it anymore
Let me be the one you call
If you jump I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone
When you feel all alone
And a loyal friend is hard to find
You're caught in a one way street
With the monsters in your head
When hopes and dreams are far away and
You feel you can't face the day
Let me be the one you call
If you jump I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone
Because there has always been heartache and pain
And when it's over you'll breathe again
You'll breathe again
When you feel all alone
And the world has turned its back on you
Give me a moment please
To tame your wild wild heart
Let me be the one you call
If you jump I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone
Artist: Savage Garden
Album: Affirmation
Song: Crash And Burn
When you feel alone
And the world has turned its back on you
Give me a moment please to tame your wild wild heart
I know that you feel like the walls are closing in on you
It's hard to find relief and people can be so cold
When darkness is upon your door and you feel like you can't take it anymore
Let me be the one you call
If you jump I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone
When you feel all alone
And a loyal friend is hard to find
You're caught in a one way street
With the monsters in your head
When hopes and dreams are far away and
You feel you can't face the day
Let me be the one you call
If you jump I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone
Because there has always been heartache and pain
And when it's over you'll breathe again
You'll breathe again
When you feel all alone
And the world has turned its back on you
Give me a moment please
To tame your wild wild heart
Let me be the one you call
If you jump I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone
Friday, November 22, 2002
Graduation song
I know its too early to post this song and dedicate this to my friends, but i couldnt wait to the day it arrives, so i just paste it anyway:
Graduation (friends forever)
And so we talked all night about the rest of our lives
Where we're gonna be when we turn 25
I keep thinking times will never change
Keep on thinking things will always be the same
But when we leave this year we won't be coming back
No more hanging out cause we're on a different track
And if you got something that you need to say
You better say it right now cause you don't have another day
Cause we're moving on & we can't slow down
These memories are playing like a film without sound
And I keep thinking of that night in June
I didn't know much of love, but it came too soon
And there was me & you, & then we got real blue
Stay at home, talking on the telephone
We'd get so excited, we'd get so scared
Laughing at ourselves, thinking life's not fair
And this is how it feels...
As we go on, we remember
All the times we had together
And as our lives change, come whatever
We will still be friends forever
So if we get the big jobs & we make the big money
When we look back now, will our jokes still be funny?
Will we still remember everything we learned in school?
Still be trying to break every single rule?
Will little brainy Bobby be the stockbroker man?
Can Heather find a job that won't interfere with her tan?
I keep, I keep thinking that it's not goodbye
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly
And this is how it feels...
As we go on, we remember
All the times we had together
And as our lives change, come whatever
We will still be friends forever
La, la, la, la
Yeah, yeah, yeah
La, la, la, la
We will still be friends forever
Will we think about tomorrow like we think about now?
Can we survive it out there? Can we make it somehow?
I guess I thought that this would never end
And suddenly it's like we're women & men
Will the past be a shadow that will follow us round?
Will these memories fade when I leave this town?
I keep, I keep thinking that it's not goodbye
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly
Graduation (friends forever)
And so we talked all night about the rest of our lives
Where we're gonna be when we turn 25
I keep thinking times will never change
Keep on thinking things will always be the same
But when we leave this year we won't be coming back
No more hanging out cause we're on a different track
And if you got something that you need to say
You better say it right now cause you don't have another day
Cause we're moving on & we can't slow down
These memories are playing like a film without sound
And I keep thinking of that night in June
I didn't know much of love, but it came too soon
And there was me & you, & then we got real blue
Stay at home, talking on the telephone
We'd get so excited, we'd get so scared
Laughing at ourselves, thinking life's not fair
And this is how it feels...
As we go on, we remember
All the times we had together
And as our lives change, come whatever
We will still be friends forever
So if we get the big jobs & we make the big money
When we look back now, will our jokes still be funny?
Will we still remember everything we learned in school?
Still be trying to break every single rule?
Will little brainy Bobby be the stockbroker man?
Can Heather find a job that won't interfere with her tan?
I keep, I keep thinking that it's not goodbye
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly
And this is how it feels...
As we go on, we remember
All the times we had together
And as our lives change, come whatever
We will still be friends forever
La, la, la, la
Yeah, yeah, yeah
La, la, la, la
We will still be friends forever
Will we think about tomorrow like we think about now?
Can we survive it out there? Can we make it somehow?
I guess I thought that this would never end
And suddenly it's like we're women & men
Will the past be a shadow that will follow us round?
Will these memories fade when I leave this town?
I keep, I keep thinking that it's not goodbye
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly
Monday, November 18, 2002
Why why why?
Why why why?
Here I am, sitting at Macdonalds Restaurant, writing my entry on paper. Its gonna be a long entry full of rantings and negative thoughts of what had happened to me recently. The reason why i wrote this entry in a restaurant is because im bored at home. Hopefully i can meet some of my friends, new and old passing by the busy corridor as i look through the glass panel. Its 2 in the afternoon and it gets pretty crowded during lunchtime.
The last few days had been stressful, negative and terrible to experience. Not only in band but the teachers and friends. Its the holdiay season but i'm still getting all these things. Dont they know what does the word holiday season mean? It means that we get to relax and hangout with friends, away from school as much as possible. Still im going back to school 3 days a week for band. What have i done to deserve this? Why am i getting these treatments? Why am i getting negative feelings? Why am i feeling hopeless? Why am i getting frustrated? Are my principles that i have hold on to for sooo long finally begining to abandon me? Have i change my attitude that drastically? Have I change alot, or is it the environment that im in? Are my choice of friends the right ones? Am i a good leader? So many questions, soo little time, soo little opinions, soo little help.
In band: My-teacher-in-charge will be leaving next month and soon the band will have a new teacher in charge. Again, I have to adapt and make necessary changes to suit the environment. Its barely a year and again i have to make changes and adapt. My present teacher in charge is not very happy with me. For no good reason, she just overreact and shouts at me in front of the whole band. What i think is right for the band is wrong to her. I cant seem to take initiatives on my own without the intervention of the teacher. It seems that i have led my teacher down and also the band down because i have not been a very good leader. Never in my life i oppose a teacher. Throughout my life in school, i always thought that the teachers are saviors who always make the right decisions but now, i just couldnt take it anymore and feel like shouting back at her but im afraid to do it.
She is a stuck up bitch. She even dared ask me whether i was mad at her when she shouted and overreacted at me the day before. argh!!!!!! She is doing injustice to me. Im in a dilemma right now. Being a leader is extremely hard and i dont think i am a natural born leader. Its hard to accept that you are a leader when you have led your teachers and members down many times.
I feel that im not a really good leader and that the teachers and peers have made a wrong choice. Im just too emotional and often take criticism too personally. These negative emotions are really compromising my dignity and principles which i have held up high for the past year. Being happy, proactive towards everything, make many friends, patience, endurance, commitment and working hard as reward is near. These are some of the priciples ive upheld. Now, it dont know whether im principle centered anymore.
This is a story about how a book changed my life:
Exactly one year ago, when i got my end-of-year-results, in Sec 2, my dreams were shattered when i realised that i couldnt get to a better class, triple science, double math. Although i was second in class position, i still couldnt get in because of my math, i failed my math badly. This result in going to another worthless class, with worthless students, worthless subjects, and a worthless future. That was what i thought at first. Some of my friends dont deserve to be in the first class, and some even failed their english but still manage to get in!! Some of my best friends whom i helped them alot in many ways, got in the better class, leaving me with nothing. From that point on, vengeance, hate, jealousy, frustrations, hopelessness and anger sets in. And i indulge into these emotions throughout the holidays. During the holidays, i felt frustrated and hopeless all the time. I rejected good friends' invitation to hangout with them coz they are enjoying it since they are all in the better class, so why should i hangout with them?(vengeance and hatred) I stayed home and did some serious pondering and reflection on myself and quite some reading too. My social life and social interation was a flat zero back then.
Then one day, i went to Kinokuniya and was browsing some self help books on the shelf and came across this book entitled "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens"
I read a few pages and found out that this book will help a teenager change his attitude and become a better teen. It was such an expensive book since it was a bestseller but i bought it and began reading hoping that it could change my life.
2 weeks later, upon finished reading the book, I realized that this book has a lot of life lessons to learn. Its also very updated because the author knows how teenagers are faced with difficult challengers in the modern world nowadays. The book teaches you how to manage time and stress and how to balance your life and renewing your body, soul and mind. They book also thought me the power of writing goals and missiont statements that would reflect you during the year. I began settling down and began writing out a list of the goals that im gonna make the following year when the school reopens, and a list a mission statements that would reflect what are the things that im gonna do in that year to improve my attitude, and improve on a lot of things and accomplishing tons of opportunities are will be thrown to me during that year. It took about 2 hours to really think hard and write a these lists down. This is my mission statement for 2002:
1. Do not judge a book by its cover.
2. Be proactive.
3. Be principle-centered, the best way to get through your life.
4. Set reacheable goals.
5. Never take the simple things in life like friends, family trust and love for granted. You never know when its gonna run out or dissappear forever.
6. Appreciate other people's differences and see their differences as a great advantage.
7. Go for every opportunity.
8. Do something different everyday.
9. be independent. Relying on you friends all the time just sucks! Trust me.
10. Don't be afraid. Just do it. Don't turn back as reward is near.
11. Treat every setback as a road to success and greater opportunity.
12. Use momentous moments to reach your goals and even exceed your expectations.
13. Think win-win, for I am a grape.
14. Be a prioritizer, not a procrastinator, Yes-man or slacker.
15. Plan ahead. Be balance.
16. Seek first to understand then to be understood.
17. Accept challenges and take risk.
18. Take time to renew yourself, your soul, your body and your relationships, with your friends and families.
19. Be a role-model in whatever you are at.
20. Your greatest fears can be your best friend if you know how to handle them well.
21. Don't worry, be at you best.
With these mission statement that I have created and from that point on in my life, it changed my life completely. With that book, it changed my life totally, as if i had been reborn again and about to start my life afresh. Without it, i would not do well in my studies as i have shown it now, due to lack of inspiration from anybody and probably would do many nasty stuff, like breaking school rules and the likes. This book inspired me to reach my goals and do well in whatever im in.
Throughout that year, i perservered and its not easy mind you. Balancing so many things at one goal is no easy task and im amazed that the author who wrote this book understands how teenagers are faced with various problems nowadays as compared to teenagers 20 years ago. I began accepting my fate and began a new journey in friendship making, attitude-improving, principle-centered, academically-successful and many more, rather than to indulge in my past, negative emotions and the mistakes that i have done, since it no use turning back. By the end of the year, i made a lot of friends, stress-free, and basically happy at what i am in at that time. When the end-of-year-results were released, I was amazed! I got 1st in class position!! Never in my life have i acomplished such a daunting task. I must thank my friends who has helped me a lot during the process. Basically, we all help each other to acomplish their task (hopefully we did). All these hard work had been paid off! Statement 4,10,13,9, and 3 really worked well for me. I was so proud of myself and blessed that i made the right choice. During the course of that year, i continually strengthen my principles and spotted many paradigm shifts.
Here I am, sitting at Macdonalds Restaurant, writing my entry on paper. Its gonna be a long entry full of rantings and negative thoughts of what had happened to me recently. The reason why i wrote this entry in a restaurant is because im bored at home. Hopefully i can meet some of my friends, new and old passing by the busy corridor as i look through the glass panel. Its 2 in the afternoon and it gets pretty crowded during lunchtime.
The last few days had been stressful, negative and terrible to experience. Not only in band but the teachers and friends. Its the holdiay season but i'm still getting all these things. Dont they know what does the word holiday season mean? It means that we get to relax and hangout with friends, away from school as much as possible. Still im going back to school 3 days a week for band. What have i done to deserve this? Why am i getting these treatments? Why am i getting negative feelings? Why am i feeling hopeless? Why am i getting frustrated? Are my principles that i have hold on to for sooo long finally begining to abandon me? Have i change my attitude that drastically? Have I change alot, or is it the environment that im in? Are my choice of friends the right ones? Am i a good leader? So many questions, soo little time, soo little opinions, soo little help.
In band: My-teacher-in-charge will be leaving next month and soon the band will have a new teacher in charge. Again, I have to adapt and make necessary changes to suit the environment. Its barely a year and again i have to make changes and adapt. My present teacher in charge is not very happy with me. For no good reason, she just overreact and shouts at me in front of the whole band. What i think is right for the band is wrong to her. I cant seem to take initiatives on my own without the intervention of the teacher. It seems that i have led my teacher down and also the band down because i have not been a very good leader. Never in my life i oppose a teacher. Throughout my life in school, i always thought that the teachers are saviors who always make the right decisions but now, i just couldnt take it anymore and feel like shouting back at her but im afraid to do it.
She is a stuck up bitch. She even dared ask me whether i was mad at her when she shouted and overreacted at me the day before. argh!!!!!! She is doing injustice to me. Im in a dilemma right now. Being a leader is extremely hard and i dont think i am a natural born leader. Its hard to accept that you are a leader when you have led your teachers and members down many times.
I feel that im not a really good leader and that the teachers and peers have made a wrong choice. Im just too emotional and often take criticism too personally. These negative emotions are really compromising my dignity and principles which i have held up high for the past year. Being happy, proactive towards everything, make many friends, patience, endurance, commitment and working hard as reward is near. These are some of the priciples ive upheld. Now, it dont know whether im principle centered anymore.
This is a story about how a book changed my life:
Exactly one year ago, when i got my end-of-year-results, in Sec 2, my dreams were shattered when i realised that i couldnt get to a better class, triple science, double math. Although i was second in class position, i still couldnt get in because of my math, i failed my math badly. This result in going to another worthless class, with worthless students, worthless subjects, and a worthless future. That was what i thought at first. Some of my friends dont deserve to be in the first class, and some even failed their english but still manage to get in!! Some of my best friends whom i helped them alot in many ways, got in the better class, leaving me with nothing. From that point on, vengeance, hate, jealousy, frustrations, hopelessness and anger sets in. And i indulge into these emotions throughout the holidays. During the holidays, i felt frustrated and hopeless all the time. I rejected good friends' invitation to hangout with them coz they are enjoying it since they are all in the better class, so why should i hangout with them?(vengeance and hatred) I stayed home and did some serious pondering and reflection on myself and quite some reading too. My social life and social interation was a flat zero back then.
Then one day, i went to Kinokuniya and was browsing some self help books on the shelf and came across this book entitled "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens"
I read a few pages and found out that this book will help a teenager change his attitude and become a better teen. It was such an expensive book since it was a bestseller but i bought it and began reading hoping that it could change my life.
2 weeks later, upon finished reading the book, I realized that this book has a lot of life lessons to learn. Its also very updated because the author knows how teenagers are faced with difficult challengers in the modern world nowadays. The book teaches you how to manage time and stress and how to balance your life and renewing your body, soul and mind. They book also thought me the power of writing goals and missiont statements that would reflect you during the year. I began settling down and began writing out a list of the goals that im gonna make the following year when the school reopens, and a list a mission statements that would reflect what are the things that im gonna do in that year to improve my attitude, and improve on a lot of things and accomplishing tons of opportunities are will be thrown to me during that year. It took about 2 hours to really think hard and write a these lists down. This is my mission statement for 2002:
1. Do not judge a book by its cover.
2. Be proactive.
3. Be principle-centered, the best way to get through your life.
4. Set reacheable goals.
5. Never take the simple things in life like friends, family trust and love for granted. You never know when its gonna run out or dissappear forever.
6. Appreciate other people's differences and see their differences as a great advantage.
7. Go for every opportunity.
8. Do something different everyday.
9. be independent. Relying on you friends all the time just sucks! Trust me.
10. Don't be afraid. Just do it. Don't turn back as reward is near.
11. Treat every setback as a road to success and greater opportunity.
12. Use momentous moments to reach your goals and even exceed your expectations.
13. Think win-win, for I am a grape.
14. Be a prioritizer, not a procrastinator, Yes-man or slacker.
15. Plan ahead. Be balance.
16. Seek first to understand then to be understood.
17. Accept challenges and take risk.
18. Take time to renew yourself, your soul, your body and your relationships, with your friends and families.
19. Be a role-model in whatever you are at.
20. Your greatest fears can be your best friend if you know how to handle them well.
21. Don't worry, be at you best.
With these mission statement that I have created and from that point on in my life, it changed my life completely. With that book, it changed my life totally, as if i had been reborn again and about to start my life afresh. Without it, i would not do well in my studies as i have shown it now, due to lack of inspiration from anybody and probably would do many nasty stuff, like breaking school rules and the likes. This book inspired me to reach my goals and do well in whatever im in.
Throughout that year, i perservered and its not easy mind you. Balancing so many things at one goal is no easy task and im amazed that the author who wrote this book understands how teenagers are faced with various problems nowadays as compared to teenagers 20 years ago. I began accepting my fate and began a new journey in friendship making, attitude-improving, principle-centered, academically-successful and many more, rather than to indulge in my past, negative emotions and the mistakes that i have done, since it no use turning back. By the end of the year, i made a lot of friends, stress-free, and basically happy at what i am in at that time. When the end-of-year-results were released, I was amazed! I got 1st in class position!! Never in my life have i acomplished such a daunting task. I must thank my friends who has helped me a lot during the process. Basically, we all help each other to acomplish their task (hopefully we did). All these hard work had been paid off! Statement 4,10,13,9, and 3 really worked well for me. I was so proud of myself and blessed that i made the right choice. During the course of that year, i continually strengthen my principles and spotted many paradigm shifts.
Thursday, November 07, 2002
Oh gosh forgot my daily entry for NCO
Oops! It seems that i forgot to write the journal on a daily basis and to give an account of each of my NCO In-Camp training. My compter crashed recently and took me 3 days to get everything back up again, and since my NCO took up the whole day and rarely had the time to treat my wounded computer. Anyway, a summary:
Today is the third day of the five days in NCO. Its quite fun being in a Band Majors Course, making friends from other school and learning new things like conducting techniques and new leadership skill that i can inculcate in my band. Its no easy job but ill try to do my best. We discussed alot of things and i get better insights about the band from other school. Its an interesting experience and a paradigm shift. I always thought that this camp would be sooo boring that id rather go to hell than to attend this grueling 5 day camp the whole day! But it turns out that its very interesting camp though there is not much to do for a Band Major, since we just play and practise the pieces for the Passing out Parade on the last day. The conductor is a very experienced one. He his in his early 40's , judging from his looks he is an eurasian but stayed in singapore for a very long time. He has been teaching band for 22 years and knows alot of things about band. As he always said, he lives and breathes band. He has a good sense of humour and i like his teaching. His teaching is far different from any other conductors and always try to simplify difficult parts through many approaches to different challenges. By the way, his name is Mr Gloss.
He gave a great insight about being a conductor of school bands and has been teaching numerous school bands. He is retiring early, in about 2 years time and ill never forget him. He never gets angry and always smiling and liven up the spirit of the band. It great being around with him.
All in all that is my long summary of the 3 days in NCO. Ill elaborate later if i have the time.
Today is the third day of the five days in NCO. Its quite fun being in a Band Majors Course, making friends from other school and learning new things like conducting techniques and new leadership skill that i can inculcate in my band. Its no easy job but ill try to do my best. We discussed alot of things and i get better insights about the band from other school. Its an interesting experience and a paradigm shift. I always thought that this camp would be sooo boring that id rather go to hell than to attend this grueling 5 day camp the whole day! But it turns out that its very interesting camp though there is not much to do for a Band Major, since we just play and practise the pieces for the Passing out Parade on the last day. The conductor is a very experienced one. He his in his early 40's , judging from his looks he is an eurasian but stayed in singapore for a very long time. He has been teaching band for 22 years and knows alot of things about band. As he always said, he lives and breathes band. He has a good sense of humour and i like his teaching. His teaching is far different from any other conductors and always try to simplify difficult parts through many approaches to different challenges. By the way, his name is Mr Gloss.
He gave a great insight about being a conductor of school bands and has been teaching numerous school bands. He is retiring early, in about 2 years time and ill never forget him. He never gets angry and always smiling and liven up the spirit of the band. It great being around with him.
All in all that is my long summary of the 3 days in NCO. Ill elaborate later if i have the time.
Thursday, October 31, 2002
Complete Idiot!
Today is the second last day of school and just got my report book back. Im quite happy with my results except for my maths becoz i failed by only 4 marks!! If i passed my maths, i would have passed all my subjects with no red marks in the result slip.
Something unfortunate happened today in my class. My friend, Jun Chong, was playing around in class, coz he was bored so as the rest of the class and he and another idiot classmate who WAS my friend bumped into each other and hurt thier head. Zhi Hao, who was my friend was acting so immature, like an 8 year old kid, started to take revenge on Jun Chong and they both started fighting! I witnessed the whole incident and i saw that Zhi Hao started it all. The class went into a state of pendomonium and chaos everywhere. I had to stop them and calm Jun Chong but i was surprised that he did not want to fight with him and was acting cool all the time. On the other hand Zhi Hao, the alleged trouble maker started cursing and whats more, crying!!
So childish! i never seen a person so emotionally swayed. This is not the first time he started fighting in class this year. Its uncountable. I just hate him. He is sooo vengeful that he'll take a fight at anyone, big or small no matter what the circumstances might be. But of all the fight that he picked, he never won a single one. He did lots of other childish and rude things. Just read the entry dated 10.28.2002. That'll give you a better idea on his character and personality. argh!! I just hate him. Dunno why he is destined to be with us.... or worse... fate.
Something unfortunate happened today in my class. My friend, Jun Chong, was playing around in class, coz he was bored so as the rest of the class and he and another idiot classmate who WAS my friend bumped into each other and hurt thier head. Zhi Hao, who was my friend was acting so immature, like an 8 year old kid, started to take revenge on Jun Chong and they both started fighting! I witnessed the whole incident and i saw that Zhi Hao started it all. The class went into a state of pendomonium and chaos everywhere. I had to stop them and calm Jun Chong but i was surprised that he did not want to fight with him and was acting cool all the time. On the other hand Zhi Hao, the alleged trouble maker started cursing and whats more, crying!!
So childish! i never seen a person so emotionally swayed. This is not the first time he started fighting in class this year. Its uncountable. I just hate him. He is sooo vengeful that he'll take a fight at anyone, big or small no matter what the circumstances might be. But of all the fight that he picked, he never won a single one. He did lots of other childish and rude things. Just read the entry dated 10.28.2002. That'll give you a better idea on his character and personality. argh!! I just hate him. Dunno why he is destined to be with us.... or worse... fate.
Wednesday, October 30, 2002
Bye October, Hi November
Hey guess what?
I just got my results for my final year papers and i got great results! I passed all my subjects and got 3 'A's!! Im top in the class and im feeling happy!
My NCO camp is coming on the 5th of November till 9th of November. Im kinda nervous because I've not been practising the music pieces that are gonna played on that day. As for the Assistant Drum Major, good luck in throwing your mace with ace in the field! Just hope that you will do the school and the band proud!
I just got my results for my final year papers and i got great results! I passed all my subjects and got 3 'A's!! Im top in the class and im feeling happy!
My NCO camp is coming on the 5th of November till 9th of November. Im kinda nervous because I've not been practising the music pieces that are gonna played on that day. As for the Assistant Drum Major, good luck in throwing your mace with ace in the field! Just hope that you will do the school and the band proud!
Monday, October 28, 2002
Return to Innocence
Enigma, Return to Innocence
This song is dedicated to my friend who has cause so much suffering to another friend unintentionally and without realizing his mistakes at all. I hope this song help you in realizing it and hope that you will not make the same mistake again. What you did sparked a chain reaction of negative events and you must accept the consequences. Nevertheless, this song will help you to find your way to return to innocence. I hope you have learnt your mistake.
Love - Devotion
Feeling - Emotion
Don't be afraid to be weak
Don't be too proud to be strong
Just look into your heart my friend
That will be the return to yourself
The return to innocence.
If you want, then start to laugh
If you must, then start to cry
Be yourself don't hide
Just believe in destiny.
Don't care what people say
Just follow your own way
Don't give up and use the chance
To return to innocence.
That's not the beginning of the end
That's the return to yourself
The return to innocence.
[Don't care what people say
Follow just your own way
Follow just your own way
Don't give up, don't give up
To return, to return to innocence.]
[If you want then laugh
If you must then cry
Be yourself don't hide
Just believe in destiny.]
Thanks to the person who invited my friends to her housewarming. Your house is sooo great!. We had a great time with you and you hope that this memory will last forever.
This song is dedicated to my friend who has cause so much suffering to another friend unintentionally and without realizing his mistakes at all. I hope this song help you in realizing it and hope that you will not make the same mistake again. What you did sparked a chain reaction of negative events and you must accept the consequences. Nevertheless, this song will help you to find your way to return to innocence. I hope you have learnt your mistake.
Love - Devotion
Feeling - Emotion
Don't be afraid to be weak
Don't be too proud to be strong
Just look into your heart my friend
That will be the return to yourself
The return to innocence.
If you want, then start to laugh
If you must, then start to cry
Be yourself don't hide
Just believe in destiny.
Don't care what people say
Just follow your own way
Don't give up and use the chance
To return to innocence.
That's not the beginning of the end
That's the return to yourself
The return to innocence.
[Don't care what people say
Follow just your own way
Follow just your own way
Don't give up, don't give up
To return, to return to innocence.]
[If you want then laugh
If you must then cry
Be yourself don't hide
Just believe in destiny.]
Thanks to the person who invited my friends to her housewarming. Your house is sooo great!. We had a great time with you and you hope that this memory will last forever.
Tuesday, October 22, 2002
Exams Finally Over!
Exams are finally over! Now I can relax a little bit. As usual, I think that im gonna fail my math, MT and F&N. The English paper 2 is kinda easy but the paper 1 is kinda hard. Today is the first day of the three day marking day and im enjoying my so called holidays. Band practices during the holidays are JAMMED PACKED! I have NCO Camps to deal with, fasting and those crappy band pracs! Can someone please help me to use all my available free time to the fullest! I have nothing much to say except that our class, no matter how fun and carefree they are in thier end of year exams, i think more or less students will be retained or demoted. I hope i can get all of them safe and sound next year and hoped that there is no 3C next year. One of our fellow schoolmates has just passed away, before completing his "O" levels. A lament for him...
Thursday, October 10, 2002
Exam Fever
Exam Fever
From next week onwards will be starting the exam season for the year and you know what? Im neither getting serious about it, nor ive done any serious studying for the past few weeks and the first paper is about to begin next friday. Im feeling too overconfident about the paper being easy and this can be dangerous. Secondly, Band and other CCA has stepped down because of the exams and this can be a blessing. Firstly i dont have to see that bloddy In-charge anymore for quite sometime and that for once in a long time, i can forget about band and put other things first. Lately, ive been studying as a group in the library and other fast food restuarants that have a comfortable place to study but i dont find it too serious of "In-head" thing. All is just talk about the subject and forgetting most of it when getting back home. And i also dont have the inspirations and effort to study as hard in this time of the period. Dont know what to do. Ive been doing group study with some of the good friends in class, males AND females. We are a very socialble group. So exams coming, band away from my shoulders and friends ahead of me. Tommorrow, again ill be doing group study at Burger King with the same group of friends (hopefully) that were present on thursday, when we did the group study.
From next week onwards will be starting the exam season for the year and you know what? Im neither getting serious about it, nor ive done any serious studying for the past few weeks and the first paper is about to begin next friday. Im feeling too overconfident about the paper being easy and this can be dangerous. Secondly, Band and other CCA has stepped down because of the exams and this can be a blessing. Firstly i dont have to see that bloddy In-charge anymore for quite sometime and that for once in a long time, i can forget about band and put other things first. Lately, ive been studying as a group in the library and other fast food restuarants that have a comfortable place to study but i dont find it too serious of "In-head" thing. All is just talk about the subject and forgetting most of it when getting back home. And i also dont have the inspirations and effort to study as hard in this time of the period. Dont know what to do. Ive been doing group study with some of the good friends in class, males AND females. We are a very socialble group. So exams coming, band away from my shoulders and friends ahead of me. Tommorrow, again ill be doing group study at Burger King with the same group of friends (hopefully) that were present on thursday, when we did the group study.
Sunday, October 06, 2002
"Life is Beautiful"
Im dedicating this song to my friends in my class, who has been through alot as a class, the ups and downs we have been through and this song is to tell everybody that life is beautiful, so treasure it in anyway possible. Best Wishes and good luck for the upcoming exams.
~ Life is Beautiful ~
In the morning I feel the breeze
The sun washes over me
The sound of water, the crashing seas
Is it only me?
That feels alive
It's all ahead of me
Cause it feels so right
Just open your eyes and see
That life is beautiful
(so beautiful)
It's beautiful to me
Life is beautiful
(so beautiful)
It's beautiful to me
Life can take you anywhere
It don't know where it leads to
But you know you're not alone
Just open your eyes and see
That life is beautiful
(so beautiful)
It's beautiful to me
Life is beautiful
(so beautiful)
It's beautiful to me
~ Life is Beautiful ~
In the morning I feel the breeze
The sun washes over me
The sound of water, the crashing seas
Is it only me?
That feels alive
It's all ahead of me
Cause it feels so right
Just open your eyes and see
That life is beautiful
(so beautiful)
It's beautiful to me
Life is beautiful
(so beautiful)
It's beautiful to me
Life can take you anywhere
It don't know where it leads to
But you know you're not alone
Just open your eyes and see
That life is beautiful
(so beautiful)
It's beautiful to me
Life is beautiful
(so beautiful)
It's beautiful to me
Monday, September 16, 2002
Song dedication
This past week has been quite plain, nothing outstanding had happened, except that 2 of my friends who were best friends did not talk to each other this past week. They are in conflict with each other as they accused each other for not doing their task in the group project. Now im involved and its my duty to straighten things up and make sure that they are best friends again for time to come. My friend and i will be asking them to meet up at MacDonalds to have a little "chat". Oh boy, its gonna be a long chat , with so many things to talk about but in the end i just hope that they are friends again.
This week in band, nothing much has happened. A flute has been lost!! Previous weeks, a clarinet was lost too! What bad luck i have as a Band Major. Just elected this year and these thing happened. Someone must have gotten in the band store and stole the instruments and mind you, they are not cheap. If the thief stole it and sold it to another person, he could make a lot of profits.
This is a song dedication to my friends who are in conflict with each other :
"Affirmation" by Savage Garden
I believe the sun should never set upon and argument
I believe we place our happiness in other people's hands
I believe that junk food tastes so good becuase they are bad for you
I believe your parents did the best job they knew how to do
I believe that beauty megazines promote low self esteem
I believe I'm loved when I'm completely by myself alone
I believe in Karma what you did is what you get returned
I believe you can't appreciate real love until you've been burned
I believe the grass is no more greener on the other side
I believe you dont know what you've got until you say goodbye
I believe that trust in more important that monogamy
I believe your most attractive features are your heart and soul
I believe that family is worth more than money or gold
I believe forgiveness is the key to your unhappiness
Class of 3E2 (2002) Description of my class:
Hyperactive
Can be creative
Has the potential of being very united as a class but i dunno how to unite them
I still prefer my previous year's class, though as time goes by, I feel more attached to my present class.
Funny.
Pervert at times.
Carefree. Relax in doing school work (Unlike our counterparts, 3E1, full of geeks and nerds, struggling to keep their heads above water.)
I had a alot of good and bad experience while in my class, making me a wiser person, (unlike our counterparts, 3E1, always studying. All they know are mathematical formulas, logics, and perfection)
Fun class to be around.
Less stress than our counterpartsClass of 2E2 (2001) Description of the class:I miss the good ol' days being in that class
Some of you may have noticed that some of my friends were not in the 2002 picture coz' they have promoted to a better class.(BAH!)
~3E1~
The sense of ~uhmuhm~ is still there, i could be in that class but an unfortunate thing happened that changed my life radically.
NERDS AND GEEKS UNITE! (ugh~)
Always studying and reading, procrastinating worrying and rule abiding students
This week in band, nothing much has happened. A flute has been lost!! Previous weeks, a clarinet was lost too! What bad luck i have as a Band Major. Just elected this year and these thing happened. Someone must have gotten in the band store and stole the instruments and mind you, they are not cheap. If the thief stole it and sold it to another person, he could make a lot of profits.
This is a song dedication to my friends who are in conflict with each other :
"Affirmation" by Savage Garden
I believe the sun should never set upon and argument
I believe we place our happiness in other people's hands
I believe that junk food tastes so good becuase they are bad for you
I believe your parents did the best job they knew how to do
I believe that beauty megazines promote low self esteem
I believe I'm loved when I'm completely by myself alone
I believe in Karma what you did is what you get returned
I believe you can't appreciate real love until you've been burned
I believe the grass is no more greener on the other side
I believe you dont know what you've got until you say goodbye
I believe that trust in more important that monogamy
I believe your most attractive features are your heart and soul
I believe that family is worth more than money or gold
I believe forgiveness is the key to your unhappiness
Class of 3E2 (2002) Description of my class:
Hyperactive
Can be creative
Has the potential of being very united as a class but i dunno how to unite them
I still prefer my previous year's class, though as time goes by, I feel more attached to my present class.
Funny.
Pervert at times.
Carefree. Relax in doing school work (Unlike our counterparts, 3E1, full of geeks and nerds, struggling to keep their heads above water.)
I had a alot of good and bad experience while in my class, making me a wiser person, (unlike our counterparts, 3E1, always studying. All they know are mathematical formulas, logics, and perfection)
Fun class to be around.
Less stress than our counterpartsClass of 2E2 (2001) Description of the class:I miss the good ol' days being in that class
Some of you may have noticed that some of my friends were not in the 2002 picture coz' they have promoted to a better class.(BAH!)
~3E1~
The sense of ~uhmuhm~ is still there, i could be in that class but an unfortunate thing happened that changed my life radically.
NERDS AND GEEKS UNITE! (ugh~)
Always studying and reading, procrastinating worrying and rule abiding students
Monday, September 09, 2002
Oh My Gosh!!
Yesterday, I slept at around 11pm. I have school tomorrow but I couldn't sleep. I kept thinking and asking myself what must i do to discipline the band.
I thought of many ways, from threats to earning respect to plain old shouts. Then I thought of one good strategy that would not enable me to shout but they will respect me and discipline at all times when someone is making announcement to the band. As you know, i dont like to shout and im a very cheerful person. I feel bad if i make someone unhappy and hate to see them suffering but what can i do, im a Band Major and i must do something to discipline band. This is my plan:
When im in front of the band, and when the whole band is not paying attention of the person in front of the band, I will start counting upwards. The number where i stop is the number of push-ups or pumping the whole band owes me when they do drilling. The first 3 numbers are not counted and I start counting but on the 4th number and so on, they will all owe me rounded up.
Today, I tried this strategy and i had no choice. Guess what? It worked!! Out of the blues, i started counting and they immediately responded and quickly kept silent. They know that something bad would happen to them if i count. I explain what would happen to them and also i was shouting to them! I couldnt believe it that i started shouted in an angry tone for the first time in front of the band! Soon after explaining about the new discipline technique and after a few announcements, the whole band started to make noise again and its getting louder and louder. Again, i counted loudly up to 3, since they all kept quiet at the count of 3. It was a success. This is the first time that i made a band quiet at my command!
I thought of many ways, from threats to earning respect to plain old shouts. Then I thought of one good strategy that would not enable me to shout but they will respect me and discipline at all times when someone is making announcement to the band. As you know, i dont like to shout and im a very cheerful person. I feel bad if i make someone unhappy and hate to see them suffering but what can i do, im a Band Major and i must do something to discipline band. This is my plan:
When im in front of the band, and when the whole band is not paying attention of the person in front of the band, I will start counting upwards. The number where i stop is the number of push-ups or pumping the whole band owes me when they do drilling. The first 3 numbers are not counted and I start counting but on the 4th number and so on, they will all owe me rounded up.
Today, I tried this strategy and i had no choice. Guess what? It worked!! Out of the blues, i started counting and they immediately responded and quickly kept silent. They know that something bad would happen to them if i count. I explain what would happen to them and also i was shouting to them! I couldnt believe it that i started shouted in an angry tone for the first time in front of the band! Soon after explaining about the new discipline technique and after a few announcements, the whole band started to make noise again and its getting louder and louder. Again, i counted loudly up to 3, since they all kept quiet at the count of 3. It was a success. This is the first time that i made a band quiet at my command!
Wednesday, September 04, 2002
NCO Precamp Log: Day Three
NCO Precamp Log: Day Three
Today is the last day of the NCO precamp training. We practised the score called "Grease" and it was great!
The music was beatifully played and arranged. Im sure that our parents who were crazy about Grease during their time would enjoy our playing.
Anyway, today was enjoyable indeed partly because it's the last day of the training and now i can relax!!
My section got each other's contact number just to keep in touch and they are band majors from Beatty Secondary School, St Nicholas Girls School, Si Ling Secondary School and many others. I made some friends along the way, especially my partner who played the same trombone part.
Technically in playing music, i have improved tremendously and i can sight-read a score better and my techniques are improving.
Today is the last day of the NCO precamp training. We practised the score called "Grease" and it was great!
The music was beatifully played and arranged. Im sure that our parents who were crazy about Grease during their time would enjoy our playing.
Anyway, today was enjoyable indeed partly because it's the last day of the training and now i can relax!!
My section got each other's contact number just to keep in touch and they are band majors from Beatty Secondary School, St Nicholas Girls School, Si Ling Secondary School and many others. I made some friends along the way, especially my partner who played the same trombone part.
Technically in playing music, i have improved tremendously and i can sight-read a score better and my techniques are improving.
Tuesday, September 03, 2002
NCO Precamp Log: Day Two
NCO Precamp Log: Day Two
Everything went fine. Nothing special, though we tried to play the four-page score, "Grease" and its really tough. I have confidence that I will master that score in about a month and a half, when the real NCO camp starts in November. Tommorrow will be the last day of the precamp and then ill be able to enjoy the rest of my holidays with my friends.
Everything went fine. Nothing special, though we tried to play the four-page score, "Grease" and its really tough. I have confidence that I will master that score in about a month and a half, when the real NCO camp starts in November. Tommorrow will be the last day of the precamp and then ill be able to enjoy the rest of my holidays with my friends.
Monday, September 02, 2002
NCO Precamp Log: Day One
NCO Precamp Log: Day One
Today marks the first day of my NCO Precamp training. This precamp training is a three-day camp, whereby Band Majors of different schools from all over Singapore attend this precamp. During this three day period they are to know each other in their own respective section and they are given scores that they are suppose to practise for 2 months before the real NCO camp training starts, which is in November.
Today, is pretty interesting. Everybody was nervous when they were there, and the location of the precamp was somewhat inaccessible. There are not much public transport that will take you there. The most convenient mode of transport was by taxi, which is extremely expensive.
Anyway, the instructors were not bad, kind and understanding, but the scores in which were given were very challenging. We were given some professional marching pieces and a concert piece called "Grease" based on the original movie that our parents went crazy about during their time.
My section is alright. It takes time to get along with each other and im sure that we will get to know each other when the real camp starts. Im playing 3rd trombone part which is quite disgraceful, I mean that part was supposed to be really easy and the notes very low but nevertheless, I was surprised that the notes on the scores given were quite high for a third trombonist.
After this precamp, I have to concentrate on the pieces that were issued and hopefully I would have mastered it in 2 months time, November, when the real camp starts. It will be a five day camp, but not overnight stay. We start off in the morning and dismissed by evening. Gonna be tiring and quite embarrassing if you do not practise your individual parts. Hope the best and farewell.
Today marks the first day of my NCO Precamp training. This precamp training is a three-day camp, whereby Band Majors of different schools from all over Singapore attend this precamp. During this three day period they are to know each other in their own respective section and they are given scores that they are suppose to practise for 2 months before the real NCO camp training starts, which is in November.
Today, is pretty interesting. Everybody was nervous when they were there, and the location of the precamp was somewhat inaccessible. There are not much public transport that will take you there. The most convenient mode of transport was by taxi, which is extremely expensive.
Anyway, the instructors were not bad, kind and understanding, but the scores in which were given were very challenging. We were given some professional marching pieces and a concert piece called "Grease" based on the original movie that our parents went crazy about during their time.
My section is alright. It takes time to get along with each other and im sure that we will get to know each other when the real camp starts. Im playing 3rd trombone part which is quite disgraceful, I mean that part was supposed to be really easy and the notes very low but nevertheless, I was surprised that the notes on the scores given were quite high for a third trombonist.
After this precamp, I have to concentrate on the pieces that were issued and hopefully I would have mastered it in 2 months time, November, when the real camp starts. It will be a five day camp, but not overnight stay. We start off in the morning and dismissed by evening. Gonna be tiring and quite embarrassing if you do not practise your individual parts. Hope the best and farewell.
Friday, August 30, 2002
What a wonderful experience...
Today, I had a wonderful experience! I went back to my primary school after 2 years!!
The school had change alot but many things were preserved and wonderful memories dashed through my mind when i went back there. Most of the teachers that taught me are still teaching in the same school 9 years ago!
When I came back, I came alone. I entered the school and I can already see some of my old classmates. I walked up the stairs leading to the hall and i came across my form teacher when I was in Primary 6! He came recognized me in an instant and started saying, " Jasrie!! Where have you been all the time for the past 2 years!??! I was getting worried about you! You came at last!! Now you are in secondary 3!!"
I replied, "Yes yes indeed, its been a long time. I was far too busy all these time and now im here finally!"
Ive never felt so happy and nostalgic. I saw many classmates when we were in the same class. Along with my form teacher, I also met my second language teacher, who had been teaching me for 4 years, and many other teachers who have taught me. All of my teachers were surprised to see me because for the last 2 years, I was not present during teacher's day.
The school had change alot but many things were preserved and wonderful memories dashed through my mind when i went back there. Most of the teachers that taught me are still teaching in the same school 9 years ago!
When I came back, I came alone. I entered the school and I can already see some of my old classmates. I walked up the stairs leading to the hall and i came across my form teacher when I was in Primary 6! He came recognized me in an instant and started saying, " Jasrie!! Where have you been all the time for the past 2 years!??! I was getting worried about you! You came at last!! Now you are in secondary 3!!"
I replied, "Yes yes indeed, its been a long time. I was far too busy all these time and now im here finally!"
Ive never felt so happy and nostalgic. I saw many classmates when we were in the same class. Along with my form teacher, I also met my second language teacher, who had been teaching me for 4 years, and many other teachers who have taught me. All of my teachers were surprised to see me because for the last 2 years, I was not present during teacher's day.
Wednesday, August 28, 2002
Concerned
Im very concerned about many things lately.
First of all, im concerned about my class. I hate my class. They are so noisy and roudy. We recently shifted to a new container makeshift classroom, because my previous class room is under massive reconstruction. And you know that the container has a lot of echo. Add that to the noise and what do you get, a chaotic class. They also made teachers mad and frustrated at them. What can i do to stop it!? Im powerless! I hate my class!!!!
Next, my Drum Major. Ok i admit, i dont quite have a solid relationship as a friend, but he is having frequent asthma attacks lately. Everytime I see him in the morning or during breaks, I see him gasping for breath. I feel truly sorry for him and his parents as they had divorced. Im sure that he is feeling rather traumatic about this experience.
Next, just today, a fight. A FIGHT!! In class. A classmate of mine just leashes out his anger onto another classmate and they were hammering each other. It was chaotic. He just couldnt control himself when he is angry or when someone teases him badly. He has such an agressive and vengeful behaviour that i find it stupid to fight in class over small matters. And its not only one person he fought. He fought with 2 other classmates in my class! Completely absurd and dumb. I already told him to ignore those who teases him and proact instead of react, just go with the flow, laugh together but he has such a vengeful thinking that its uncontrollable. And it gets worse, I sit beside him everyday. Such complete humiliation.
Next another of my classmate, a girl, who is obsessed with netball, which is her CCA. She was admitted to hospital recently and yesterday, she has a severe migrain and amnesia (?). My point is, she has been having academic problems, BGR problems, and her health is deteriorating. She always practise netball and attended training almost everyday and some of my friends said that she is concentrating too much on netball. When we tried to talk to her and how to solve her problems, she refused to listen! Thinking that netball has nothing got to do with her problems, she refused to listen. Now, look what happened, she has been getting sick and her result are getting worse. I am truly concerned about her. Hope she listens before she regrets..
More are coming i presume.........
First of all, im concerned about my class. I hate my class. They are so noisy and roudy. We recently shifted to a new container makeshift classroom, because my previous class room is under massive reconstruction. And you know that the container has a lot of echo. Add that to the noise and what do you get, a chaotic class. They also made teachers mad and frustrated at them. What can i do to stop it!? Im powerless! I hate my class!!!!
Next, my Drum Major. Ok i admit, i dont quite have a solid relationship as a friend, but he is having frequent asthma attacks lately. Everytime I see him in the morning or during breaks, I see him gasping for breath. I feel truly sorry for him and his parents as they had divorced. Im sure that he is feeling rather traumatic about this experience.
Next, just today, a fight. A FIGHT!! In class. A classmate of mine just leashes out his anger onto another classmate and they were hammering each other. It was chaotic. He just couldnt control himself when he is angry or when someone teases him badly. He has such an agressive and vengeful behaviour that i find it stupid to fight in class over small matters. And its not only one person he fought. He fought with 2 other classmates in my class! Completely absurd and dumb. I already told him to ignore those who teases him and proact instead of react, just go with the flow, laugh together but he has such a vengeful thinking that its uncontrollable. And it gets worse, I sit beside him everyday. Such complete humiliation.
Next another of my classmate, a girl, who is obsessed with netball, which is her CCA. She was admitted to hospital recently and yesterday, she has a severe migrain and amnesia (?). My point is, she has been having academic problems, BGR problems, and her health is deteriorating. She always practise netball and attended training almost everyday and some of my friends said that she is concentrating too much on netball. When we tried to talk to her and how to solve her problems, she refused to listen! Thinking that netball has nothing got to do with her problems, she refused to listen. Now, look what happened, she has been getting sick and her result are getting worse. I am truly concerned about her. Hope she listens before she regrets..
More are coming i presume.........
Friday, August 23, 2002
Long time no see.....
Well, its been a long time since I last wrote. I am very busy with school work and CCA, band. Third week being a Band Major if im not wrong. It has been tough nevertheless. Let's see what I have done this past week.....
I served detention for the first time in my secondary school life!! This is absurd! I did not do my duties according to the Head Prefect. By the way, I'm also a prefect in my school and in my life, i never, NEVER skipped a single duty! I served detention for 2 hours. What a jerk! sitting there, doing nothing. This is a complete waste of time. Anyway, after Teacher's day, that is on the 1st of September, I think I'll resign. I cant take the stress of it any longer! My shoulders has like a thousand tons of R-E-S-P-O-N-S-I-B-I-L-I-T-Y. Now i just put that incident aside and on to my other issues..
My common test is over, and I'm not too happy about my results. I havent gotten my math results yet. I failed my second language and English!! What a disgrace!! I can never fail at least one subject! Its either this or that. Im quite happy with my Science and Accounts. I got great grades!
Well, I dont have much to say. I'll come back to ya soon!
I served detention for the first time in my secondary school life!! This is absurd! I did not do my duties according to the Head Prefect. By the way, I'm also a prefect in my school and in my life, i never, NEVER skipped a single duty! I served detention for 2 hours. What a jerk! sitting there, doing nothing. This is a complete waste of time. Anyway, after Teacher's day, that is on the 1st of September, I think I'll resign. I cant take the stress of it any longer! My shoulders has like a thousand tons of R-E-S-P-O-N-S-I-B-I-L-I-T-Y. Now i just put that incident aside and on to my other issues..
My common test is over, and I'm not too happy about my results. I havent gotten my math results yet. I failed my second language and English!! What a disgrace!! I can never fail at least one subject! Its either this or that. Im quite happy with my Science and Accounts. I got great grades!
Well, I dont have much to say. I'll come back to ya soon!
Wednesday, August 14, 2002
Uneventful Day
Today I had an terrible day. So many bad things happen today. This is my story:
The day before, I opened up the band store using the key provided by the teacher. I couldnt find any teacher and my members kept pestering me to open up the store. I had group study later in the afternoon, so i waited for the teacher. At last the teacher came and I ask for the keys. I immediately open the door and kept the key. Then I rushed for my group study. After my group study which ended at about 5.30 pm, I went back home without locking the door of the store and returning the key! I realized my mistake when I reached home. NO one is allowed to bring back home the band store key. I was so desperate.
The next morning, I tried to open the door early to avoid the others and drum major knowing that I brought back the keys. But to my astonishment, there was a padlock on the door! I knew from then on that I was doomed. They knew that I forgot to lock the door and used a padlock instead. I tried to see the teacher but since it was early in the morning, she was not there. Then the drum major arrived and asked me for the key.
Hoping that he would understand my situation I explained what happen. But to my surprise, he did not supported me or console me or even advised me. Instead, he mocked and laughed and saying that I was doomed! What an asshole! A good friend of mine doing this to me. Im new in this field and i tend to make mistakes and he cant possibly to that to someone. I was SO ANGRY but I contained it.
The teacher came late, so we couldnt play our National Anthem on that day. I came to see the teacher and apologized and she forgive me since this is my first time. The whole band can't play National Anthem because of me. I felt soo bad. I feel even worse when my friend, THE band major came up to me time and again to demoralize and discourage me. He simply doesnt know when is the right time to joke and be serious. He came from a broken family recently and some of my good friends came to console him and tell him again and again not to give up when times are tough. We gave him so much advice and this is how he repay me!!
WE majors are supposed to be united and one. When one of the major have a problem, the other majors will be affected too. He just pushed the blame on me on any mistakes i do. Im solo!!
Even the promotion ceremony, I PLANNED EVERYTHING. He doesnt do anything. My teacher scolded me 2 days before the promotion ceremony because the comittees havent planned anything for the ceremony. I was left there with the teacher, explaining everything, while he just sits at one corner. He is such a "unique" friend.
A friend who takes you for granted, demoralize you, mock you and discourage you and bully you when he has an opportuniy. A friend whose emotions control him, he who explodes when he is angry, puts blame one others.
The day before, I opened up the band store using the key provided by the teacher. I couldnt find any teacher and my members kept pestering me to open up the store. I had group study later in the afternoon, so i waited for the teacher. At last the teacher came and I ask for the keys. I immediately open the door and kept the key. Then I rushed for my group study. After my group study which ended at about 5.30 pm, I went back home without locking the door of the store and returning the key! I realized my mistake when I reached home. NO one is allowed to bring back home the band store key. I was so desperate.
The next morning, I tried to open the door early to avoid the others and drum major knowing that I brought back the keys. But to my astonishment, there was a padlock on the door! I knew from then on that I was doomed. They knew that I forgot to lock the door and used a padlock instead. I tried to see the teacher but since it was early in the morning, she was not there. Then the drum major arrived and asked me for the key.
Hoping that he would understand my situation I explained what happen. But to my surprise, he did not supported me or console me or even advised me. Instead, he mocked and laughed and saying that I was doomed! What an asshole! A good friend of mine doing this to me. Im new in this field and i tend to make mistakes and he cant possibly to that to someone. I was SO ANGRY but I contained it.
The teacher came late, so we couldnt play our National Anthem on that day. I came to see the teacher and apologized and she forgive me since this is my first time. The whole band can't play National Anthem because of me. I felt soo bad. I feel even worse when my friend, THE band major came up to me time and again to demoralize and discourage me. He simply doesnt know when is the right time to joke and be serious. He came from a broken family recently and some of my good friends came to console him and tell him again and again not to give up when times are tough. We gave him so much advice and this is how he repay me!!
WE majors are supposed to be united and one. When one of the major have a problem, the other majors will be affected too. He just pushed the blame on me on any mistakes i do. Im solo!!
Even the promotion ceremony, I PLANNED EVERYTHING. He doesnt do anything. My teacher scolded me 2 days before the promotion ceremony because the comittees havent planned anything for the ceremony. I was left there with the teacher, explaining everything, while he just sits at one corner. He is such a "unique" friend.
A friend who takes you for granted, demoralize you, mock you and discourage you and bully you when he has an opportuniy. A friend whose emotions control him, he who explodes when he is angry, puts blame one others.
Thursday, August 08, 2002
A Personal Letter From My Previous Band Major
Nur Ayuni Affandi Salleh
Band Major (2001-2002)
Northland Secondary School Symphonic Band
8th August 2002
Muhammad Jasrie
Band Major (2002-2003)
Northland Secondary School Symphonic Band
Dear Jasrie
First of all, congratulations on your promotion to this prestigious post as the 7th batch of Band Major. I would not fool you by saying that this post is an easy one, trust me as it requires much more than just physical labour. Since you are the most important and influential person in the band, therefore, you need a lot of courage and patience!
This post carries more responsibility than any other post in the band. Not only do you have to do administration works, but also tasks that are usually handled by the teachers. At times, you may be a bit unsure when wishing up your mind to make decisions. So whenever, you come across this type of situation, always think what is best for the band, and DO NOT make decisions of the band's choice. Always make decisions by yourself. If you need some opinions, helps and also advices, you can always call your ex-majors up to seek for some fruitful advice.
Since you are the leader of the band, members will tend to automatically look up to you for guidance and also answers that they seek for. Very often there will be lots of disagreements between you and the members.
(especially seniors and committees) and also not forgetting the teachers. But no matter what, just hold you head high and don't get easily upset by all these things. Its part of learning. You are the Band Major, you should assert authority at the right time and DO NO let anyone over-rule you except for the teachers and instructors. However, should you be making any mistakes, don't hesitate to apologise. People do make mistakes... including a Band Major.
During the early stage of the Band Major's life, you might have ease co-operating with members. But as time pass by, you might not be able to take the stress that the members pushed to you. At this moment, you have to be strong and instill the confidence in yourself. Once the confidence is in your soul, it will remain where it is. Don't ever think that you are new and have no power. You MUST BE ABLE to undertake the stress as a Band Major. Band teacher are quite a problem at times but ALWAYS remember, NEVER and NEVER contradict with the teachers but compromise and compensate.
As a Band Major, it is your responsibility to improve the band as well as music wise of the band too. Since we got a silver medal 2 years ago, I just hope that the band can keep the title. I know it is now easy to control or make the members practice on their own. But always remember... be firm and strict always. the most important thing is, believe in yourself.
You must always remember that you, as a Band Major, represent the band. You are the symbol of how succesful the band can be and the standard of discipline the band has. Always organize things way before hand. Do not come out with a very rush idea. Have a small notebook, especially for your reference. Have you own Band Major file, meaning your personal file for the band.
Jas... next year is a very big year for the band. I hope that you have realized it long before hand. Therefore you really have to work hard. Come for FREQUENT SECTIONAL PRACTICE. I know its not easy to juggle well with both your studies and as a Band Major. No matter what, studies comes first ok! Do not be like me.. spend too much time in band and also too stressed up, until my studies go down the drain. I don't wish this to happen to you.
Some tips for you to learn here. Try to establish a good relationship with everyone in the band, especially the committees as they are the ones who are going to work and co-operate with you. In this way, your job will be easier. Respect comes in both ways. If you respect them, they will also respect you in the same manner. When you go for NCO Camp, make as many friends as possible as you could benefit from it.
Don't ever lose faith on yourself, because if you did you have lost. We do not have to a gold band, but a good band.
Sincerely... hope that this letter has got some use to you. My hopes for the band are all on your shoulders. Best of all juniors... Take care Jas.
Yours Truly
Nur Ayuni
Saxophone Section
Band Major (2001-2002)
Band Major (2001-2002)
Northland Secondary School Symphonic Band
8th August 2002
Muhammad Jasrie
Band Major (2002-2003)
Northland Secondary School Symphonic Band
Dear Jasrie
First of all, congratulations on your promotion to this prestigious post as the 7th batch of Band Major. I would not fool you by saying that this post is an easy one, trust me as it requires much more than just physical labour. Since you are the most important and influential person in the band, therefore, you need a lot of courage and patience!
This post carries more responsibility than any other post in the band. Not only do you have to do administration works, but also tasks that are usually handled by the teachers. At times, you may be a bit unsure when wishing up your mind to make decisions. So whenever, you come across this type of situation, always think what is best for the band, and DO NOT make decisions of the band's choice. Always make decisions by yourself. If you need some opinions, helps and also advices, you can always call your ex-majors up to seek for some fruitful advice.
Since you are the leader of the band, members will tend to automatically look up to you for guidance and also answers that they seek for. Very often there will be lots of disagreements between you and the members.
(especially seniors and committees) and also not forgetting the teachers. But no matter what, just hold you head high and don't get easily upset by all these things. Its part of learning. You are the Band Major, you should assert authority at the right time and DO NO let anyone over-rule you except for the teachers and instructors. However, should you be making any mistakes, don't hesitate to apologise. People do make mistakes... including a Band Major.
During the early stage of the Band Major's life, you might have ease co-operating with members. But as time pass by, you might not be able to take the stress that the members pushed to you. At this moment, you have to be strong and instill the confidence in yourself. Once the confidence is in your soul, it will remain where it is. Don't ever think that you are new and have no power. You MUST BE ABLE to undertake the stress as a Band Major. Band teacher are quite a problem at times but ALWAYS remember, NEVER and NEVER contradict with the teachers but compromise and compensate.
As a Band Major, it is your responsibility to improve the band as well as music wise of the band too. Since we got a silver medal 2 years ago, I just hope that the band can keep the title. I know it is now easy to control or make the members practice on their own. But always remember... be firm and strict always. the most important thing is, believe in yourself.
You must always remember that you, as a Band Major, represent the band. You are the symbol of how succesful the band can be and the standard of discipline the band has. Always organize things way before hand. Do not come out with a very rush idea. Have a small notebook, especially for your reference. Have you own Band Major file, meaning your personal file for the band.
Jas... next year is a very big year for the band. I hope that you have realized it long before hand. Therefore you really have to work hard. Come for FREQUENT SECTIONAL PRACTICE. I know its not easy to juggle well with both your studies and as a Band Major. No matter what, studies comes first ok! Do not be like me.. spend too much time in band and also too stressed up, until my studies go down the drain. I don't wish this to happen to you.
Some tips for you to learn here. Try to establish a good relationship with everyone in the band, especially the committees as they are the ones who are going to work and co-operate with you. In this way, your job will be easier. Respect comes in both ways. If you respect them, they will also respect you in the same manner. When you go for NCO Camp, make as many friends as possible as you could benefit from it.
Don't ever lose faith on yourself, because if you did you have lost. We do not have to a gold band, but a good band.
Sincerely... hope that this letter has got some use to you. My hopes for the band are all on your shoulders. Best of all juniors... Take care Jas.
Yours Truly
Nur Ayuni
Saxophone Section
Band Major (2001-2002)
Wednesday, August 07, 2002
What a Dilemma!
Everything around me seems to fall apart piece by piece...
Tommorrow is my big day, being officially promoted to Band Major. Oh I just hoped that everything runs smoothly on the day itself, cause all the planning was done last minute. I just hoped that the people in-charge in one part of the ceremony knows what he or she is doing. Haiz... Am I truly a good Band Major? Will people look down on me when i make a mistake? What level of standard should I show to the members? Furthermore, i have my studies to think about, 5 project with all the same datelines, which is due next Friday, and tommorrow is the eve of National Day.
I have a doctor's appointment tommorrow and my friends are watching a movie after the ceremony. Tommorrow is my friend's birthday so now I can't watch the movie with them. What a dilemma and a dissapointment and a HUGE SACRIFICE! My friends are dissapointed because I can't hang out with them. Oh well, this is what Band Majors are for, sacrifice your time to anybody who sees fit. Life sucks for me. Im constantly on a watch, every action I take, any move I make will affect everything.
I just got my report Card. To me my results seemed normal like any other results I had. Ive improved on my Math and Accounts but still, my parents were not happy with it! I failed my Second Language which has become a norm for me and now they are thinking of sending me to a private tutor just to improve my Second Language. COME ON!! Do I have the time to attend these night classes? I go back at around 6 pm almost everyday now, because of remedials, projects, band and so many other things. Im like working from 6 am to 6 pm, 12 hours!!
I wonder how the members would think of me as a Band Major? Would they accept me wholeheartedly or will they talk behind my back? It depends I think. Gosh, I have to start reading "7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens" again. Its fun to read though. I life changeing experience I would say.
Right now Im worried about my academics. I find it difficult to cope with my studies and band with such new and heavy responsibilities.
Another problem is that my Drum Major, my friend seems to make cloudy judgements based on his emotions. He tends to let his emotions control him and that is very bad for a leader. A leader must never show any negative emotions and personal problems when making judgements. Recently, I had a long lecture with my teacher because we have not started planning for the promotion ceremony and only started on monday. While I get all the scoldings from my teacher, my friend, Drum Major, just sits at one corner pretending to do something else! I take all the blame, and he just sits there doing nothing. He was supposed to support me or cushion me somehow and take some of the blame as he is experienced in being Drum Major. He was also involved in the planning of the promotion ceremony. He lets his emotions control him and during that time, he was angry and moody. And one more incident, another friend of mine, was in-charge in the play that we were supposed to perform and we were supposed to meet and rehearse. He did not attend the rehearsal and when I met him outside, he said that he has some other things to do. You know where I met him? At a nearby McDonalds restaurant, enjoying himself. Some of my good friends also realized how stressful life can be as a Band Major. They are also concerned that my friend, the Drum Major, might bully me and I take all the blame.
Tommorrow is my big day, being officially promoted to Band Major. Oh I just hoped that everything runs smoothly on the day itself, cause all the planning was done last minute. I just hoped that the people in-charge in one part of the ceremony knows what he or she is doing. Haiz... Am I truly a good Band Major? Will people look down on me when i make a mistake? What level of standard should I show to the members? Furthermore, i have my studies to think about, 5 project with all the same datelines, which is due next Friday, and tommorrow is the eve of National Day.
I have a doctor's appointment tommorrow and my friends are watching a movie after the ceremony. Tommorrow is my friend's birthday so now I can't watch the movie with them. What a dilemma and a dissapointment and a HUGE SACRIFICE! My friends are dissapointed because I can't hang out with them. Oh well, this is what Band Majors are for, sacrifice your time to anybody who sees fit. Life sucks for me. Im constantly on a watch, every action I take, any move I make will affect everything.
I just got my report Card. To me my results seemed normal like any other results I had. Ive improved on my Math and Accounts but still, my parents were not happy with it! I failed my Second Language which has become a norm for me and now they are thinking of sending me to a private tutor just to improve my Second Language. COME ON!! Do I have the time to attend these night classes? I go back at around 6 pm almost everyday now, because of remedials, projects, band and so many other things. Im like working from 6 am to 6 pm, 12 hours!!
I wonder how the members would think of me as a Band Major? Would they accept me wholeheartedly or will they talk behind my back? It depends I think. Gosh, I have to start reading "7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens" again. Its fun to read though. I life changeing experience I would say.
Right now Im worried about my academics. I find it difficult to cope with my studies and band with such new and heavy responsibilities.
Another problem is that my Drum Major, my friend seems to make cloudy judgements based on his emotions. He tends to let his emotions control him and that is very bad for a leader. A leader must never show any negative emotions and personal problems when making judgements. Recently, I had a long lecture with my teacher because we have not started planning for the promotion ceremony and only started on monday. While I get all the scoldings from my teacher, my friend, Drum Major, just sits at one corner pretending to do something else! I take all the blame, and he just sits there doing nothing. He was supposed to support me or cushion me somehow and take some of the blame as he is experienced in being Drum Major. He was also involved in the planning of the promotion ceremony. He lets his emotions control him and during that time, he was angry and moody. And one more incident, another friend of mine, was in-charge in the play that we were supposed to perform and we were supposed to meet and rehearse. He did not attend the rehearsal and when I met him outside, he said that he has some other things to do. You know where I met him? At a nearby McDonalds restaurant, enjoying himself. Some of my good friends also realized how stressful life can be as a Band Major. They are also concerned that my friend, the Drum Major, might bully me and I take all the blame.
Tuesday, August 06, 2002
Nice Place
YOZ JOURNAL!
Basically, I'm mainly using this journal to record my life as a Band Major. Dunno what that is? Well, its basically being a leader in a military band in Singapore(Cool!). Anyway, my life is pretty stressful balancing work and play with family and friends all at the same time! So one of the reason why I plan to keep a journal is because so that I could voice out my problems, achivements, successes, failures, hates, and love all in this journal. I dont have to contain all my emotions within me. I have good friends to talk to but I just couldn't find the time to do so. Im soo busy its like im working as a stock broker, lol!. This entry is basically nothing, just to get a hang of it. On Thursday is my promotion ceremony, whereby I will officially be a Band Major, giving out the certificates, badges, sashes, blah blah blah. I dont feel like introducing myself cause i feel its such a cliche. So I guess thats it.
Basically, I'm mainly using this journal to record my life as a Band Major. Dunno what that is? Well, its basically being a leader in a military band in Singapore(Cool!). Anyway, my life is pretty stressful balancing work and play with family and friends all at the same time! So one of the reason why I plan to keep a journal is because so that I could voice out my problems, achivements, successes, failures, hates, and love all in this journal. I dont have to contain all my emotions within me. I have good friends to talk to but I just couldn't find the time to do so. Im soo busy its like im working as a stock broker, lol!. This entry is basically nothing, just to get a hang of it. On Thursday is my promotion ceremony, whereby I will officially be a Band Major, giving out the certificates, badges, sashes, blah blah blah. I dont feel like introducing myself cause i feel its such a cliche. So I guess thats it.
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