What a Dilemma!

Everything around me seems to fall apart piece by piece...

Tommorrow is my big day, being officially promoted to Band Major. Oh I just hoped that everything runs smoothly on the day itself, cause all the planning was done last minute. I just hoped that the people in-charge in one part of the ceremony knows what he or she is doing. Haiz... Am I truly a good Band Major? Will people look down on me when i make a mistake? What level of standard should I show to the members? Furthermore, i have my studies to think about, 5 project with all the same datelines, which is due next Friday, and tommorrow is the eve of National Day.

I have a doctor's appointment tommorrow and my friends are watching a movie after the ceremony. Tommorrow is my friend's birthday so now I can't watch the movie with them. What a dilemma and a dissapointment and a HUGE SACRIFICE! My friends are dissapointed because I can't hang out with them. Oh well, this is what Band Majors are for, sacrifice your time to anybody who sees fit. Life sucks for me. Im constantly on a watch, every action I take, any move I make will affect everything.

I just got my report Card. To me my results seemed normal like any other results I had. Ive improved on my Math and Accounts but still, my parents were not happy with it! I failed my Second Language which has become a norm for me and now they are thinking of sending me to a private tutor just to improve my Second Language. COME ON!! Do I have the time to attend these night classes? I go back at around 6 pm almost everyday now, because of remedials, projects, band and so many other things. Im like working from 6 am to 6 pm, 12 hours!!

I wonder how the members would think of me as a Band Major? Would they accept me wholeheartedly or will they talk behind my back? It depends I think. Gosh, I have to start reading "7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens" again. Its fun to read though. I life changeing experience I would say.

Right now Im worried about my academics. I find it difficult to cope with my studies and band with such new and heavy responsibilities.

Another problem is that my Drum Major, my friend seems to make cloudy judgements based on his emotions. He tends to let his emotions control him and that is very bad for a leader. A leader must never show any negative emotions and personal problems when making judgements. Recently, I had a long lecture with my teacher because we have not started planning for the promotion ceremony and only started on monday. While I get all the scoldings from my teacher, my friend, Drum Major, just sits at one corner pretending to do something else! I take all the blame, and he just sits there doing nothing. He was supposed to support me or cushion me somehow and take some of the blame as he is experienced in being Drum Major. He was also involved in the planning of the promotion ceremony. He lets his emotions control him and during that time, he was angry and moody. And one more incident, another friend of mine, was in-charge in the play that we were supposed to perform and we were supposed to meet and rehearse. He did not attend the rehearsal and when I met him outside, he said that he has some other things to do. You know where I met him? At a nearby McDonalds restaurant, enjoying himself. Some of my good friends also realized how stressful life can be as a Band Major. They are also concerned that my friend, the Drum Major, might bully me and I take all the blame.